“I wanna think of other people, live near them, but they don¢t seem to need me... and I ain¢t daring to show myself. I¢m ugly… I¢m stupid… I don¢t know how to get away from this loneliness”. Actually we are always, deep inside us, on our own, and we have given the answer we keep inside, to our questions. It¢s so hurtful, so painful, someone to be alone!

            Humans, whether we want it or not, and the antisocial ones, we live with the others. We are forced to live with them, without having our own choice. It¢s a condition connected with our being. We both need each other. And we have the need to speak out our judgments, thoughts, and feelings to a person close to us. We¢ll receive the same, by that a dialog to be created. We all find 1nce in our life, the joy of true meeting with someone, who¢s actually enlightening us.

          The problem with the dialog ain¢t so simple; we suffer from difficulty of the expression. We feel sad ¡cos we didn¢t agree with a friend who has opposite opinions. Or we suffer from those “deaf dialogs”, leaving us with disappointments. Then we hide in our shelf, in a  <you have to>,  self-critic, in which we put down our selves finding refugee in loneliness.

 I wonder how can you “work out” facing this reality. You¢d have to avoid social relations, since these are the reason of your worries, or find a way to talk with someone, perhaps?

 Usually we choose, silence, or ways to express our self, easier, such as a letter, phone call, a third person steppin¢ in, usually after a  misunderstanding. What we don¢t know is friendship which can¢t deal an argument, has an expired day.

 Many times we don¢t know, consciously, that denial in our relationship. We believe it ain¢t possible to communicate one another. The thing is we don¢t really think that they would bother to understand us. And we ain¢t even admit, what¢s on our mind.

 Usually we say: “It¢d be nice finding someone to understand me”, and we expect the true friendship steppin¢ in, Fallin¢ manna from the sky. When, we should be the 1^st to get prepared to be, a good friend.

              The ability of our own “expression” to another who listens, it¢s a need we have to take out. We need to talk for us, cos it¢s the way of feeling we actually exist. ¡Cos we are made, body and soul, and what we can¢t express with our body we don¢t really understand it.

            Just like music exist in a song writer¢s head, and he has the need to be heard on the piano or violin, so it can “exist”.

            It¢s natural someone to reveal and express his/her self. Taking out your chest problems, wonders, beliefs and experiences; but it ain¢t so simple revealing, what we are and admit to be seen from another. We are our own obstacle.
           “I¢m ugly, I¢m stupid” we think often, or: “I¢m unable to understand” and the description for the other person starts, when we despise our selves. We think we became ridiculous by that avoiding those who are the reflection of our own picture.

          The 1^st condition for us to meet is admitting, the way and how, another is, but not to hide in our shelf, ¡cos there¢s no way out. A no way out that satisfy us and giving as the imagination, there nothin¢ takin¢ from another, since another is consider to be stupid, unfair, full of passions.

            You see, the quality of relations with someone depends, from the quality of the relationship you have with your self. The dialog, conversation, wateva, is the 1^st form of the dialog. The more you search deep inside your wonderings, feelings and energies, plus remaining viewer of the surface, the richer you become

          Sure, the dialog with your self, is the hardest and is in danger from satisfaction, prejudice or the excuse¢s traps

         “if we wanna hug another with the biggest joy from the heart and the unexpected he keeps inside, which only cause us pain, we must never lose from our sight our mistakes, plots and us crossing the line, our lost” says Philippe Koppelin.

            You must learn to see your friend fair and like a brother, with out the fear of disappointment or lose the balance of your habits, perhaps prejudice.

            Dialog is an adventure able to make you suffer perhaps since it may lead you to the need of changing your tensions.

            Although, on the road of friendship, the one who smiles at you and give you a sweet look, opens a new door to breath, giving a boost in life, since another recognize you, giving a place in society, reveals your power and originality. A friendly handshake, is enough each time, so you can be more your real you.

            Who I am, and what I¢m cabable for, the others are there to tell me. They¢ll reveal my true picture and help me dicover through my characteristics, positive and negative. The others challenge me and prove I worth it.would I knew I¢m beautiful if someone wouldn¢t flatter me? Would I wanted to be good a, whatever you feel like, such as work, life, etc, if someone wouldn¢t tell me I¢m good at it?

 Someone could say that “we only exist on the meter where we do exist, for the others”.

           What¢s painful in friendship, is the fact that the others reveal the truth for your self, ¢cos they are also mirrors that change your image. And you are free to admit or not whatever they offer you. What hurts most is, with the dialog the person puts under discussion the deepest statements presenting them in the flames of others¢ judgment and disagreement.

           To show the pain you create an atmosphere of protection, in one hand, for your self, which in the other hand destroys the real and honest friendship.

           It¢s the “judgment” you make emotionally which serves your own theory of things. The “I don¢t agree with you” falls like a knife, even before the other finishes the phrase.

           You underestimate the other from your self without giving the right, consciously, Unconsciously, to be different from you

           If you ain¢t admitting you are different like everyone is, no dialog can be set, ¡cos the fear of disagreement paralyze your relations.

         The other is always a bit or a lot different from you. Have beliefs maybe unlike yours and you have to recognize it and many times accept it. It¢s very pure and simple ending the discussion by saying or thinking: “you always want to be different”. You don¢t like thinking like the rest of the world (just like the rest of the world, which is just like me!) that ain¢t make the relation strong.

           And you don¢t only have to admit it; you must try to understand the other who is different from you. Listen carefully the answers, opinions, problems, which means you respect the person.

          A good friend, face the interlocutor with a feeling of love, as equal with equal, keep on searching the depth, each expression, “thought” or problem and doesn¢t satisfy with an uncompleted answer.

         By accepting the other is a way to accept your own self. You don¢t have to be afraid what you are and hide behind of careless, cruel sentences or just repeat “yea... yea”; which it accompanies a simple smile. It doesn¢t help anyone in discussion of the truth.

          There¢s as well in the conversation with another case of “the deaf dialog”. Each one speaks for his/her side and is totally stranger to the other. Even more

        Speakers go against each other, as rightly Sartre¢s phrase says: “Hell is the others”.

        There¢s the thought, you are definitely want the others to be always wrong, and so you can be proved wise. It¢s like you want them to look bad, so you will reveal your kindness. You make them conscious feeling guilty so you¢re to be looking more pure.

         Some humans have the ability to learn what they¢ve been told, understand, entering another¢s soul, ideas and the feelings that express, to see what really wants to say, feel the exact color of feeling that accompanies the person.

           When you make that kind of relation, then you are “in the heart” of a real relation. This adventure¢ll be full of lot of pleasant and sad surprises but still both¢ll help us fulfill on discovering of the truth in life. Karl Jaspers writes: “search of the truth is my freedom, if I stop searching for it will be like I stop to exist.”